three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.
why?
because the un deux trois quatre cinq
IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU
EXPLAIN
one thing I never see anyone take into account is the fact that Hogwarts must be crawling with cats. you’re allowed to bring either a cat, an owl, or a toad. if we assume only 1/3 of the students bring cats with them, that’s still, like, HUNDREDS OF CATS.
#and how many of those cats were spayed or neutered??#are there rules about spaying/neutering your cat and when were those rules made if so?#do the teachers remember the ‘great kitten infestation of 65?#where they had not just hundreds of cats at hogwarts but HUNDREDS OF KITTENS#so many kittens the students come to hogwarts with a cat and come home with an armful of them#teachers are given kittens#mcgonagall walking into class carrying a kitten#kittens chasing after dumbledore’s robes in the great hall#playpens in the common rooms for kittens#kittens everywhere
McGonagall becoming queen kitty.
Every time I see people like “cats are evil and will never love you” I’m like bro cats are adorable losers, they rub against you and head butt into your hand when you pet them and they make a dumb vibrating noise when they’re happy and chase after moving lights and shoelaces and tuck their feet under their bodies to become a fucking cat loaf cats are great ok.
me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat
haha that was a joke. i am pulling your legs, april fool. i will always love cats and i will fight anyone who hurts a cat
i hate when people are like “only dogs can give u love and affection cats are cold and elusive” like okay dog person if you had ever actually owned a cat you would know they are the neediest fucking creatures on the planet
cats will literally sit on your head until you pay attention to them
That proves the point, they want attention, they want you to pay attention to them not them!
cats show affection and love in their own way
for example
cats think of humans as parents whereas dogs think of humans as the alpha dog
;w;
if we got all the cats in the world to meow at exactly the same time how loud would it be
Well the average cat meow is like 65/75dB (above speaking volume but below shouting) and there are about 2bn cats in the world, so, by that math, 130-150bn dB. Which is about 100 million jets taking off at once.
catastrophically loud
If anyone in California is interested in adopting a dog or a cat, Kerns County Animal Shelter ( one of the most disgraceful shelters in California ) is being shut down. Dogs are being sold for 15$ and cats for 5$ ( all are fixed with shots. )
Every animal will be put down by September 30th.
Go here for more information.
Signal boost since I can’t adopt one myself.
neko atsume is the best game bc all you really do is open the app, look at the cats and go “hehheuhhEH hOOoh hoo hhueh hOO!! Look at this cat”
rosesburn
February is approaching, I’m gonna find a valentine. Even if it’s platonic! I’m speaking it into existence!
